Week 12: Family Councils

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Leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints encourages couples and families to have weekly family councils.  Some may ask, “What are family councils?”  A family council is an opportunity for family members to discuss things.  This could range from talking about problems, planned activities, struggles and triumphs, ways to help one another, and making various family decisions. 
Councils within the church play a crucial role in the organization and implementation of the various programs, procedures, and policies.  In 1997 Elder M. Russell Ballard teaches about general councils in the church in the article “Counseling with our Councils”.  Below are specific principles he highlights that are especially relevant and applicable to a family council.
  1. Start with a prayer and request the presence of the Holy Spirit. Prayer can have a powerful influence within a family and allows the Spirit to soften and humble hearts.
  2. Everyone shares thoughts, feelings and asks questions. Giving everyone an opportunity to speak helps them feel valued and important.
  3. Once a sense of unity is present, ask for a recommendation and vote on it. This encourages diplomacy in family life giving everyone a voice.
  4. “Make decisions in harmony, unity, and faith with combined judgements of each member in the harmony with the Spirit.” (Ballard, 1997) This can encourage patience, love, and faith.
  5. All decisions are made unanimously. “But before a final decision is reached, there comes a unanimity of mind and voice.” (Ballard, 1997) This may be hard but with the help of the Spirit it will create unity in family matters.
  6. No major actions are taken without this procedure. Following these principles will strengthen home and family.
  7. Create a fun tradition to look forward to family council. Creating a tradition like having pie or cookies during family council is a fun way to make it special. 
Why do we have family councils?  Some may argue a husband and wife should just council together since they are the adults and care for the children.  However, family councils are not just a time to plan activities and make decisions.  Family councils can benefit members exponentially by meeting together weekly.  “. . . family council held regularly will help us spot family problems early and nip them in the bud; councils will give each family member a feeling of worth and importance; and most of all they will assist us to be more successful and happy in our precious relationships, within the walls of our homes.”  (Davis, 2017)
Some may feel overwhelmed with the task of family councils, but there are simple ways we can implement this change.  Here are four different types of family councils to hold:
  1. Full Family Council – Everyone meets together weekly.
  2. Executive Family Council – Husband and wife meet together weekly.
  3. Limited Family Council – Both Parents meet with one child monthly.
  4. One-On-One Family Council – One parent meet with one child monthly.
I know this may seem like a lot.  But through careful planning it can be accomplished.  For an example, full family councils can be every 1st Sunday.  Executive family councils can be after the kids are asleep on Monday nights. Limited and one-on-one family councils can be scheduled around family schedules.  The last two councils can be made into something special like a “date night with mom and dad” where you go out for a walk together or get ice cream or have a “Daddy-daughter date.”  Have fun with it and get creative!
Ideally, we need to do all these councils.  However, we are not perfect.  Every family is different, so do what works best for you.  Growing up I remember having family council with my parents.  We didnt do it religiously.  But when we did it I felt included in family matters such as setting goals and working on projects together.  What I liked most about the family councils was the feeling of organization and unity it created.  What is most important is to take time to meet together and talk.  “Children desperately need parents willing to listen to them, and the family council can provide a time during which family members can learn to understand and love one another.”  (Davis, 2017)
I have included a little cheat sheet for those interested in using it in your homes. It provides helpful visuals and questions to guide your family councils. I know for myself, family councils never happen in my home. I felt since we didn't have kids we didn't need it.  But whether you have children or not, it is important to counsel together.   I want to make family councils a priority for my family because I know it will benefit us in multiple ways. 

 Family Council Cheat Sheet

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