Principles For Marriage

In my marriage I tend to nitpick and complain about little things.  Such as dishes need to be done, dirty clothes put away, and clutter picked up.  Usually this causes my husband and I to be grouchy, sarcastic, and short with one another. I learned this week these things can ruin a marriage over time.  Elder Joe J. Christensen teaches “ ‘Ceaseless pinpricking,’ as President Spencer W. Kimball called it, can deflate almost any marriage. … Generally each of us is painfully aware of our weaknesses, and we don’t need frequent reminders. Few people have ever changed for the better as a result of constant criticism or nagging. If we are not careful, some of what we offer as  constructive  criticism is actually  destructive .” The antidote to criticism and contempt is nurturing fondness and admiration in a marriage. This week I’ve been working to increase my admiration towards my husband.  I first reflected on good times we recently shared together – o...

Friendship is the root of a successful marriage.  Some may ask what does friendship mean in a marriage? It goes beyond being kind to one another. Friendship is where you know each other intimately, you know their likes, dislikes, personality and quirks.  It is supporting your partner’s hopes and dreams, being attuned to their needs, having mutual respect for them, and showing overall care and concern.    How do you foster friendship in marriage?  Strive to do things that express fondness not just in big gestures but through small ways day in and day out.  For an example, if you are making breakfast and you know he prefers his eggs scrambled not fried, you will make him scrambled eggs just for him.  Or you know he likes to have an extra blanket on the bed at night.  You  bring the extra blanket out for him to have at bed time. These little expressions of love will strengthen your friendship.  Another way to strengthen frie...

Every marriage will face three wolves: natural adversity, imperfections, and excessive individualism.  Out of these three “wolves” excessive individualism is detrimental to our society.  In America, we value individualism, autonomy and freedom to choose.  But at what point can those values become harmful?  When a man and woman join together in marriage they agree to support one another, to love, help and serve one another. They promise to give of themselves to help their spouse grow.  In today’s society there is a common obsession with one-self.  People often focus their energy on career, image, and autonomy.  Some extremes leading to fear of commitment and even viewing family life (marriage and children) as bondage.  Our culture is changing from striving to grow families to individuals seeking self-fulfillment.  This ideology creates contractual attitudes leading people to walk away when trouble comes.  As a result, civil marriage...

Before I jump into today’s discussion, I want to first share my beliefs and standards regarding marriage. There are many purposes of marriage, such as bringing together two individuals and their families, learning to love, serve, and grow beyond our own abilities, and most crucial is to procreate.  Marriage is a divine institution created by our Heavenly Father for a man and a woman.  “Gender differences is unique and each is necessary culturally and biologically for optimal development of a human being.” [1] What difference does it make if States legalize same-sex couples to marry? I used to think a same-sex couple deciding to get married doesn’t affect me so why should I care.  In my research I discovered there are many effects for me personally, for our society, and for the rising generation. Here are just a few reasons why we should not redefine marriage in our States. - Marriage between a man and a woman provide the ideal environment for a human being to d...